Today's mood is so down.. Coming to 20, and I am at my cross road... Recently, I've been troubled with no boyfriend issue & my upcoming future, which my parents keep bothering me about:

What do I want to do? I keep asking myself . . .
What would be the best for me? How would God lead me?
Will I ever have a boyfriend, or would I be covered under the shadow of my parents' failed marriage? Would I even have the trust to believe guys?

Did he & I were even together? Perhaps I just thought too much, and it was mere friendship. . . Perhaps it didnt even started, it was just fun, that's why ~
We were just kids, unmatured & no burdens . . .

Maybe, maybe, maybe it is time that we split . . . Yet,I am not willing!
He's like a friend to me, someone I can talk to . . .
A brother, a teacher, a lover . . .
He's just different, however there's no progress which made me very tired as well.
Want to give up, want to just abandoned him & walk away . . . yups.